Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Groundhog Day

Have you seen this creature? Could you identify it with a screaming four-year-old on your hip? Would you wait to examine it for details at it growled, hissed and charged at you? Sunday night my family celebrated groundhogs day a bit late when my youngest son was attacked and scratched by the little varmint. After I rescued my son the beast proceeded to chase me about the backyard.
Sheepishly, I called Burrillville's finest and they very graciously sent two, count 'em two officers to the scene of the violence. Burrillvilles police force is either very supportive of their community sending two officers to a groundhog scratching incident, or, very bored. I found them to be very understanding and supportive as they didn't giggle at all when i told them that the little bastard chased me, causing me to scream like a school-girl. The cowardly rodent had disappeared before the two kind officers arrived.
Not much of this whole scene was really that amusing. When the accosted son asked if it was a girl or a boy that scratched him, I got a humorous image of me lifting the alleged groundhog up by the tail staring at its hind end to discern its gender. My son needed to go to Hasbro in Providence for the beginning of the rabies vaccination course. What was however a bit amusing was the fact that no one seemed to believe that we saw a ground hog. The doctor at the hospital wanted to know if I was SURE that it was a groundhog. The State health department even called to see if I was SURE that it was a groundhog. I replied that it was smaller than a beaver, bigger than a chipmunk and therefore, my educated guess was.... groundhog or woodchuck, same animal. Friends wanted to know why I didn't know for certain that it was a groundhog since I am from Aroostook County Maine, the most rural of rural places in all of that grand state. I replied, I can identify Moose and Potatoes, (I still prefer a good ol' Russet to the fancy red, yellow and blue things that pass as potatoes around here. I have seen black-bears upon occassion, deer regularly and a Moose walked down main street once, but I'm not that familiar with this odd little beast.
Yes, my son had to get shots, three. to be precise, two, but one was of such a volume that they needed to stick him twice to get all the vaccine in, so I count that as three. And he has four more to go. DEM has not shown up to handle the monster in the backyard and the boys want me to beat its brains in with a bat. I'm not so sure. He seemed a nasty little bugger, and I'm not much of a hunter.
We did get popscicles at the ER and I guess that has to count for something.

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